Official seal of the fictional National Bagholder ReserveNational Bagholder ReserveParody institution · $NBR
RESERVE OPERATIONALNATIONAL BAG INVENTORY — RISINGPUBLIC CONFIDENCE — STATEDPRIVATE CONFIDENCE — CLASSIFIEDFDBC — STILL LOOKING AT THE CHARTMARKET DATA FEED — PENDING$NBR — LIVE ON SOLANABUREAU OF UNREALIZED LOSSES — ACCEPTING FILINGSIN BAGS WE TRUSTRESERVE OPERATIONALNATIONAL BAG INVENTORY — RISINGPUBLIC CONFIDENCE — STATEDPRIVATE CONFIDENCE — CLASSIFIEDFDBC — STILL LOOKING AT THE CHARTMARKET DATA FEED — PENDING$NBR — LIVE ON SOLANABUREAU OF UNREALIZED LOSSES — ACCEPTING FILINGSIN BAGS WE TRUST
Federal Dip Buying Committee · FDBC

Statements & Minutes

The FDBC convenes to review charts and issue language. It does not close the laptop. All statements below are fictional satire.

Committee in session
A long dark walnut committee table set with economic report folders in a dim government room
Canonical statement
“The Committee voted 11–1 to continue looking at the chart. One member voted to close the laptop. The dissent has been noted.”

FDBC — Session 114 · fictional

Archive

Committee minutes

Minutes are released in full, in the Committee's preferred language, with the dissents preserved.

The Committee voted 11–1 to continue looking at the chart. One member voted to close the laptop. The dissent has been noted.

Session
SESSION 114
Recorded vote
11 – 1
Status
ENTERED INTO THE RECORD

The Federal Dip Buying Committee does not exist. Its votes, sessions and minutes are invented for comedy.

Mandate

Review the chart. Issue language. Reconvene.

Quorum

Any number of members who have not closed the laptop.

Instruments

Statements, minutes, dissents. No instructions to any person.